Note to self

Explain Journey of Self-Improvement later.

I'm back!

I just had stuff to do. Here's a basic list of stuff I did while I was away:

-TURNED SIXTEEN! YESTERDAY!
-Dunked my english teacher at the Terry Fox Run! Yeah!
-Fell out of love with DH
-Read lots of stuff
-Finished most of my Hallowe'en candy (Last trick or treating adventure was this year, sadly. Goodbye, free candy...)

And I'm sure I'll think of more, but for now that's it. It's too bad; it would have been fun to describe the dunking.
I'll do it now.

I was the last person to try and dunk my teacher. One guy actually wanted to not let me have a go, but the other guy and my teacher both told him to let me try. I got three balls.
The first time I tested it, nearly hitting the button that would make my teacher's seat in the dunk tank collapse, dropping him into cold water. The second time, I took my time. I got into the proper throwing stance (one foot in front, hand behind head) and threw- and I hit it straight into the middle of the bottle. (I just remembered it was a bottle, not a button, because the button broke and we had to replace it.) My teacher went straight into the water, and I ran to my brother, shrieking "I did it! I did it!" At the top of my lungs.
It was great. :)

Today I did a stupid thing. I was walking to school from the bus and someone held the door open for me. I turned to say something to my brother and- SMACK! The door hit me right between the eyes.
Heh.

Another thing I did was last week I went to drama and we were doing this improv thing. You had to pose, randomly. Two people would be on stage, posing, and they'd have to think of a reason to be that way.So I went up, and because I was feeling slightly evil, picked a slightly innapropriate pose (we're allowed to do that, it's just it's not often we do): I sat on the floor, legs spread wiiide, hands on the floor near my back. I got some giggles and an "oh dear" or two at that, let me tell ya. So I'm smirking, feeling deliciously evil. The guy is in this sparring stance. He goes first- "Gee, my swordfighting isn't THAT good," he said, which got a few laughs. Then I realize that I didn't think of a justification for my pose or his, I was too busy laughing inwardly. And I blank. And then, then the guy says this: "I'm ready for your parry if you're ready for my thrust". I just kind of die slowly and they take pity on me and I get to pretty much crawl off the stage.
So, yeah. It's kind of a funny story, so I thought I'd share it. This is also my method of ceasing the self-beating-up over it. But I did learn two things: 1) Stick to stuff you won't die slowly at the mention of, and 2) Always have a plan.

That's all for now, 'cause I want to go read a fanfic. See ya!
By the way, if anyone has any idea on how to put a hit meter on here... tell me please?

AH-CHOO!

I'm sick today, so I get to stay home from school. It's great.
So far I've:
-read Midnight Sun (the PDF version that I got off the website. I'm not the idiot who downloaded it illegally and made it get postponed for a while.)
-read and saved the rest of my RPGs
-read the rest of a fanfiction on my computer (I copied one chapter to WordPad so I could read it and it wouldn't count as part of my computer time. I did this to all my other reading material, too. See, if I use my room computer, which has no internet, it doesn't count.)
-done the laundry
-checked both e-mails
-gone on eC
-updated my blog

So, yeah. I'm going to try and make these posts a little less angsty and a little more interesting.
Anyhow, I'm kind of getting bored and I want to watch some Ouran, so BYE.

The Day I Nearly Killed Someone

Or at least concussed.
Anyway, in my english class, we have a talking stick, which is actually a frisbee. Someone threw it wrong and it landed next to me, so I picked it up, and the teacher wanted me to throw it back. I have really bad aim, so i wasn't too eager, but I tried- and it nearly crashed into the face of one of the boys sitting near the teacher.
The guy isn't popular or anything, and anyone could see it was a complete accident (I've demonstrated my total lack of aiming skills before) so we all laughed, but I was really embarrassed. I mean, I nearly decapitated the poor guy with a frisbee!
I apologized, of course, but I couldn't stop laughing about it once I got out of school.

I wonder. If he had been killed by a frisbee to the head, would I have gone to jail?

Wellllll...

School was... fast. I got math homework. But only a bit. It was a good day, but it was hard not to notice some things.
Like how I was surrounded by empty desks in math. And how I could have moved and no one would have minded, but I almost... chose to be alone.
Or maybe I was too embarrassed to move. I guess I didn't want to look like I was desperate for company.
And like how I laughed at what David was saying most of the time, but... it's obvious we don't have the same feelings for each other.
And how I noticed how one girl's hair looked a lot like my friend's, and it sort of made me blank out for a bit. Because some things I want to forget, even though I probably won't. Ever.
How I realized that I wouldn't be alone in math class if my friend hadn't practically dropped out of my school.
How I realized how painfully awkward I must have looked in english.

And I'm angsting. Great. What the heck.
I hate when I get like this. When it feels like I'm just... not worthless, but pretty close.

Well, tomorrow's another day. :)
Smilies are fillers. You can use them when you don't mean them.

I feel so much better now.

Well, David replied to my email, and we've pretty much cleared things up.
Which is great! The only thing that sucks in my life right now is that Sangy is away, which means I'm BORED OUT OF MY MIND.
Oh well.
I am not supposed to be on the computer right now, but my brother is being a sweetie and won't tell on me.
I lost my computer time for today because Dad caught me sneaking on yesterday.
Guess it had to happen eventually. I mean, I've been sneaking on while he was in the house for ages.
That was the first time for two months that he's caught me though. So I guess I'm a good sneak-er. Not sneaker. Sneak-er. So I'm not a shoe.
GOTTA GO BYE

Bleeeeargh.

I'm so bored.
But I read a few good books. If you're looking for light, funny-ish material and have a thing for vampire stories, I recommend The Good Ghoul's Guide to Getting Even, by Julie Kenner. It was a fun read.
If you want something a bit heavier as topics go, then try ALT ED, by Catherine Atkins. It was sad, but it does have a happy ending. It's a damn good book.
Now, if you're okay with topics like suicide in books, then I have an uber-good book for you. Seriously. If you can handle what's in the book, DON'T PASS IT UP. The name of the amazing book is: Thirteen Reasons Why, by Jay Asher. Seriously, it was so good. I promised myself I'd go to sleep at nine and I stayed up 'til eleven thirty almost just so I could finish it, even though I knew I was going to get like, no sleep. It was worth it. I think I might read it again, actually. It was that mind-blowing.
You want a summary? Go on wiki, I'm feeling lazy. Plus, I doubt that my blog is getting many hits. Who cares about my thoughts when you can make your own?

Wooooo! I did it!

I did everything on the list AND worked on my story. Now all I have to do is go to Drama and sign up. :)
Also, things I need to get for school:
-New pencil case
-geometry set
-paper
I can't wait to go get my schedule and find out what classes I have this year.
OH! That reminds me.
-CALL FREYA.
Anyways, I know I'm taking drama, which is bloody fricken awesome. :)
I think I get moral, but I'm not sure. Either way, another thing that makes this year special is that my little brother is going to come this year! Vinny, my youngest brother. My other younger brother goes to a different school because he has autism and apparently our parents don't want us to get distracted, 'cause in elementary I was always going to check on him and stuff.
Which was fun. Joe's a cutie.
Both my bros are, but you can't have them, they're mine. *hug*

I AM HOME

Yay!
Not really.
But I've started writing a horror story with sangy, which is fun. I'm pretty proud of my first post. It was sufficiently creepy and explanatory and horror-ish.
I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO.
Okay, LIST:
-email drama group the list because goddamnit you've been putting this off for months
-download all the songs I heard while staying with Sangy that I liked
-charge my ipod
-download a whole bunch of songs onto my ipod
-update my fanfics and delete the really crappy one [well, the crappy part of the crappy one because the beginning isn't bad]
-unpack
-clean my room

As you can see... UGH.
Plus now that I'm back, all my problems are kind of in focus, and I'm reminded that I have to go to school soon.
I owe Sangy some licorice.

Bai bai.
-Carla,
semi-depressy and in a procrastinate-y mood. also very tired.

Well, I'm off to the beach!

In my (relatively) new swimsuit and my new (only worn twice before) dress. :)
With my cousins (3) and their friend (1).
I'm in a brackety (not a word, I know) mood today, but at least I'm not hyper. That sort of wore off- I'm tired. Just a little. But happy. SWIMMING!
I love the water so much. Call me crazy, but the weight of the water is kind of comforting, you know? And it's fun.
Gotta scram- BEACH TIME!
Ciao,
Carla

HAI GUISE

Yeah, it's me. In the following days, I have:
Gone to church once.
Started a new rpg with my cousin.
Read breaking dawn. (FIVE HOURS OHHH BEAT THAT)
Eaten ice cream, bacon, butterscotch tarts, chicken, pancakes, cereal, milk and lemonade as well as breath mints.
Gone to bed no earlier than 1 o'clock.
Woken up no earlier than 7 o'clock.
Used my cousin's computer multiple times.
Attended one party.
Played 3 wii games.
Been in first place at mario kart 3 times.

BECOME THOROUGHLY, UTTERLY BORED.

Why? Because I have no money, and thus could not go and shop with the girls.
LIFE SUCKS AND THEN YOU DIE.
This is NOT TRUE.
Life sucked a lot for the past year almost, and I still haven't died. So there. I win.
I feel semi-depressed. Yay.

Have you ever felt that you're not wanted even though you've been waiting seemingly forever to get in that place? Ugh. I'm being stupid. Don't listen to me, okay? I'm just trying to get my thoughts into order.

I have had fun here, though. The party's been a blast, I had lots of good laughs with my cousin.
Basically a highlight of my life, at this point. i actually couldn't believe I was actually here when i got here.
When my Dad told me I was staying at Alyce's, I freaked out and had a hyper explosion of squeeing. Which basically shows how happy I am to be here, finally. I love it here.
Good company. :)

Well, today will probably be my last posting day until the twenty-second.

I'm going on vacation tomorrow! To Nova Scotia, where I will see Sangy, my cousin!
Of course, this means a brutal twelve-hour van drive, but that's okay. It's worth it.
I'll actually get there tomorrow. Around 5pm or 6pm, probably.
AND, SANGY!--> Teresa, Anjo+ Uncle Rob will be arriving on SATURDAY.
Which means that we could have a sleepover BEFORE they come, if my 'rents aren't opposed.
Like this: reachgramdpa'splace-->gotoyourplace-->gotoparty-->returnhomefromthere.
My parents might not want to drive me, but oh well. T'was a thought. Or, if Anjo and Teresa leave before sunday, i could go to your place from church. :) Either way, there's many opportunities.

But, yeah, about the van drive, since I'm pretending you're rabidly curious and interested:
Basically a drive straight through, done in one shot. Twelve straight hours of driving. So, we'll get up at four in the morning (me at 3, to take a shower and brush my teeth and stuff like that), put our bags in the car, and take off. We'll stop for breakfast a a restaurant, possibly making bathroom stops while we're at it. Thebn, we'll take off again, not stopping for lunch because we are going to have a picnic in the car while we're driving, which save us some time. That was my idea. :) And by suppertime, we'll be at my Grandpa's house!
To pass the time, I have CDs, my Walkman, a notepad, a pen, and a marker, and Breaking Dawn. Which might just last me the entire trip, seeing as it has 754 pages.
So, yeah. Wish me not luck, but non-boredom. Please.

-Soapy the impatient traveller and eager planner

Stupidities- Cookie monster to Veggie Monster

I think that making the cookie monster eat veggies is stupid.
Why?
Point one: His name is the cookie monster.
Point two: Is a veggie a cookie? I think not.
Point three: The reason they're doing this is because kids are refusing to eat healthily, apparently because of the Cookie Monster. What the heck?! That's stupid. Really stupid. I mean, you'd think that the kids' parents would have more control over them than a blue, fuzzy, cookie-eating puppet. Right? Right.
Point four: Sesame street has been on for around thirty years. Kids only start being bad eaters now, after years of Cookie Monster exposure? Suuuuure.
Point five: So they're going to break thirty years of loving, cookie-centered tradition over a few uncontrollable, obese little tyrants, are they? Can't say I approve.
In conclusion: The real reason that our beloved cookie monster is now chompimg carrots is because some idiotic parents can't control their little tykes. That's stupid.
Next thing you know, Caillou's gonna be accused of influenceing children to shave their heads bald. Or teletubbies will be accused of causing multiple cases of Vaccuum-phobia amongst children.
Not that I care much about those shows, but still. RIDICULOUS.

More catapulty goodness!

xD I'm insane, aren't I? Who else would build a catapult in their room?

What type do I need? -->http://www.medieval-castle-siege-weapons.com/catapult-instructions.html

OHHH-->http://www.rogerknapp.com/download/Catapult.pdf

Hey, I got a suggestion on my eC thread! (Told ya it's damn useful, 'Lycey c; )
Putting it above the door... But I dunno how, and what if they're not in the doorway? it'll make a mess in my room.
Plus, I like a challenge. Catapulting is fun!

Aw, damnit. dad's saying he's totally gonna kick me out of the house if I use it...
Well, it'd make a fun toy. *shrug*

YES! YES! THANK YOU, YOUTUBE!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVzorAMTnFM Check this out. It's PERFECT- catapults, water balloons. *snicker* MWAHAHA!

Grr!! My dastardly plot

My Mom just totally rearranged my drawers- and now I can't find the stuff I had in my spare drawer. Which was all my treasure. Which sucks, because she might actually have broken something. Honestly.
I've decided that to prevent further invasions of my room and privacy (That would make a good beginning of a declaration...), I am going to booby-trap my room.
Yes, I am serious. Hey, if the kid in Home Alone could do it, so can I. xD
I'm thinking a catapult that is triggered by opening the door and flings balloons filled with toothpaste or apple juice at the intruder. I'd have to test it, but I'm sure it can be done. Maybe I'll ask Wesc.
So, obviously, I'll need balloons. Easy enough. I'll say it's for a school project (by the time I'm ready to use the balloons, school will have started). And toothpaste. I can say it's for an art project, or I could steal some OJ from the fridge. As for the catapult, I'll need a lever and a base. (this much I know- it involves experience with boredom, erasers, rulers, and pencils.) Actually, speaking of the eraser thing- that might come in handy.
So I put a pencil down on the desk. Then, I put a ruler across it perpendicularly (is that the right word?) and put the eraser on one side. When I tapped the other side of the ruler, the eraser was flung into the air. I just need to find out how to make it go forward and up instead of just up.
It'd have to be more of a fling, which means... Hey, maybe I'll check out how the trojans did it.
And a few more modern sites. Ta-tah.
Sincerely,
Soapey, the dastardly plotter

Wow. Those last posts were depressing.

Well, I haven't heard from David yet. Maybe that means he's thinking about it, which is good. Or that he blocked me, which is not good. Do they tell you if someone blocks you?
Mmm, I smell peanut butter cookies, which I made but mom put in the oven.
I'm chatting with my cousin, so I'm gonna cut this short. Just thought I'd let you know I'm not going emo or anything. ;)

Well, I did it.

I sent the email. I have never been more scared of the "send" button.
I hope he reads it. I hope he gives me one last chance.
Gawd, why do I mess my life up so much? Why?
Is my subconcious a masochist or something?

"I dunno what to do"

I have absolutely no idea either.
Should I email him and tell him I'm sorry?
Of course, you don't know who I'm talking about. Sheesh. Should I wait until the school year begins? Gawd, that song.
Now I have to choose,
I dunno what to do
He loves me
He loves
He loves me not
Jeeeez.
I'm talking about my ex-maybe-friend David. I was going to apologize during the summer, but it's already august and...I don't know how to. See, me and my other friend Vicky were always making fun of him and one day during exam week we were doing the whole "battle of insults" thing and he whacked me on the head several times with his pencil case, after which I slapped him- hard.
My vison kind of spun for a few seconds after he whacked me with his pencil case that time.
I know now that that's when I should have apologized- but it's too late.
Just like how I know I should have cut off Melodia 7 months ago.
It's stupid how we only figure out stuff like this after it's happened.
Should I email him? Now?
I'm scared.
But I will. Seeya.

MASH

You remember that game, right? Well, my genius cousin just found an online version. :)
http://www.espin.com/mash-game.php It's there. I did it twice:
My Future (v1) I will marry my ex-possibly-friend David and settle down in a shack in montreal with 514225500 children (for some reason I thought they were talking about phone numbers...xDD) and we will drive a blue ferrari. I will be a detective.

My future (v2): I will marry a Stranger and settle down in an apartment somewhere in the country (doesn't make sense, that) and have six kids. I'll have a purple smartcar and I will be a teacher/psychologist.

So...Yeah. Well, it was a stranger or the batman in v2. I was doing it for laughs.
Although Batman is kind of majorly hot.

Ugh.

I wish my cousin would get online already. *headdesk*
Oh, by the way, I'm going to be on vacation from the 8th to the 22nd, so posts might be limited, seeing as my parents don't know about he blog and Grandpa's computer is kind of... It's a dial-up computer that's like, thirty years old. Okay, maybe not thirty, but the point is, it's SLOWWWW.
Which, to an impatient person like me, is unbearable.
Anyhow, I'mma go edit my blog some more. Add some MSN Icons.

S'me again.

I don't really have a subject this time, I'm just seriously, mind-bogglingly bored. So, yeah. That means I'll probably talk about something weird or random. Or both.
I inspired my cousin to make a blog. I just finished reading it- she's got more posts than me already, which makes me giggle. She's at http://psycho-blatherings.blogspot.com/. I hope that works as a link, because I have no idea how to code it in. Pathetic? Maybe. I never learnt, mostly because I'm an eC nerd and we use eecode there.
I think her layout is wicked awesome and a lot better than mine, but you gotta take into account that I don't have Gimp like she does. -fail-
Oh well. I kind of like only having my "bite me" muffin as a picture.
Why would you want to know what I look like? What would be the point of posting a picture of myself? You're here for my thoughts, remember? the title of the blog isn't "Soapeys awesomely hot pics that she wants you to see", is it?
So that option is crap. And, currently, I'm not obsessed with anything except Ouran, and all my pics are on the other computer, so...
Well, I'm going to go to YouTube to waste more time before I drag myself to the gym or go back to sleep. Bye.

Ouran!

The best anime I've watched so far. I just really love the story and the characters- especially Tamaki and Kyouya.
Yes, I spell Kyouya with a 'u'. Get over it.
I love how they all have problems and insecurities and hidden sides. Tamaki especially is a character of hidden depth. All this stuff has happened to him, but he still keeps a smile on his face every day. And the humour is just amazing.
Sure, it's in japanese, but I don't mind reading subtitles. I can read books, I can watch shows with subs. S'not complicated.
Anyhow, gotta scram, so... well, I won't really SEE you.

"I kissed a girl"- The Song, of course

It's catchy, but also kind of obnoxious. It's good strategy for publicity, though, too, if you think about it. Create scandal. Get listens. Get money. Personally, I don't find anything wrong with it.
In fact, I like the beat. Of course, I'm not going to admit it as anyone but Soapey.
But, jeez, the whole "You're my experiment" thing? Who would do that? Kind of messed up.
People shouldn't treat people like that.

I kind of wonder whether Katy Perry has ever actually kissed a girl, you know?

Well, well. My first post on the blog.

Well, Hi, whoever's reading this. I'm Soapey. You don't need to know anything else unless you're trying to kidnap me, in which case I'm not gonna give you the info anyways. Kapeesh?

So, this is my blog. I'm warning you now; Soapey's Thoughts is a strange world to be in, so if you have a problem with random, weird, or just plain silly stuff, then you should probably leave.

Another thing; if by some chance you're offended by something I said, tell me. Because if I don't know, I can't say sorry, a'ight?

So, yeah. basically, this is a little warning. If you have a problem with my format, too bad. I'm not here to please the mind, I'm here to let mine loose. Don't ask for contact info; if you want to tell me something tell me here.

Guess this is pretty much it. I'm gonna tweak around with my blog now, so if you'll excuse me...